I remember very clearly that my mother once educated me on this. She said to me it was a skill to do small talk. It’s a skill to keep conversations running and show interest. Back then I didn’t think much of it, but nowadays I feel she’s right. This applies especially in public transport, where a lot of people are confined to a small space for a short amount of time. Then, I can find myself itching for conversation. However, the convention is silence. I often wonder why. Why are people so terrified to talk to each other? Partially I assume it’s the Dutch culture. We are known to have a slight reservation and to mind our own business (Actually, I am writing this in public and really would not appreciate being interrupted now, which is not going to happen as look focused and busy), but I also think it’s fear of social rejection.
I have a habit of occasionally striking up conversation, and when I do I am often met with pleasant surprise, and enthusiasm. You just have to get over the initial awkward phase, this is the tricky bit. I bet everyone has had this conversation a thousand times:
“hi”
“hi.”
“how are you?”
“I’m fine, you?”
“also.”
“….”
“so…. Ehm, nice weather huh?”
“yes, it is…”
“…”
Awkward, such things are simply awkward. This is a conversation I find very unpleasant to have, and I suppose the lack of having something to talk about will make each party feel boring and in a way socially rejected. I found that by just jumping into conversation you can very easily tackle it. Small talk, yes! Yesterday I found myself talking about religion, Janis Joplin and reality images with someone I never had met before in this very bus line I am driving in now. The subjects really don’t matter, as long as you can keep seeming genuinely interested in the other person (People like being listened to, or being found interesting). I tend to keep the questions personal too, even when talking for about the weather. “what do ‘you’ think about the weather.” Add a friendly smile, and the occasional search for eye-contact and you have a very effective mix. (I suppose, being genuinely interested and a new people junkie helps too). It works in networking, work education, and generally makes my trips a lot more enjoyable.
So yes, mom, small talk = awesome!
